A Story

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A Story

Post  RazNiagi on Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:15 pm

As Chronic is starting to show his deviantArt drawings, I've decided to let you in on my story I am planning. I've got ~21 paragraphs so far, 8 are posted here. Criticism?
Stranded
My heart was pounding and I had a headache when I woke up. I found myself on the white, grainy beaches of some mysterious isle. I used my arms to push myself in to a sitting position to get a better look at my surroundings.

It appeared as though I was the only person on this island, and no other islands were near. I turned my head towards the interior and started to scan for clues as to where I was. Before I got to the dark-skinned trees that were, from what I could tell, in the center of the island, a piece of wood laying about twenty yards from me caught my eye.

This wood was very unlike the trees’ bark. It had a smoother finish and was much lighter than the bark of any of the trees that I could see from my now lying position. I decided to get up and see what it was, simply for the fact that it might tell me how I got here.

As I pushed myself up from the sand, I noticed a few cuts on my arm, but did not bother with them. I tried to stand, and succeeded, at least at first. As I stood, tremors started shooting up and down my whole body, but especially my legs. My knees buckled and gave out after a few seconds of standing there, shaking. I fell to one knee at first and used my right arm as a support, but that also failed. After a few more seconds, my arm gave way and I fell to the sand, drained of energy.

I lie there and stared at the sky, which was a deep blue, slowly evolving into orange as it got closer to the horizon, and dotted with scattered clouds. My legs started throbbing, beginning slowly and constantly decreasing in time between each throb. Soon after, my legs quit throbbing and started aching.

“It’s getting late,” I thought to myself. “I’ll examine that wood tomorrow.”

I slowly crawled from the grainy beach on the the soft, silky grass, and to a tree. I layed my head aginst the bark of the tree, which was suprisingly softer than I thought it would be. It took a good forty minutes to crawl about one hundred yards, or at least it felt like that.

As I lie there, waiting for the sweet release of sleep, I heard a noise. The noise was a very low, rolling sound that shook the trees and ground around me. It resonated within some of the hollow, dying trees for a few seconds before finally ending. I quickly recognized the noise as a downpour started and the first few rain drops hit my face.
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Re: A Story

Post  Dark Minion on Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:39 am

Ugh...I know this may be old, But thats kinda nice. I write a little myself...Seeing as all my work was deleted in the process of switching computers >=(((( I dont do it anymore. =,(
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